If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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