watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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