I wannas sexs uuuuu
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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