dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
