you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
