i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
