Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
