It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
