You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
