Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
