We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
