I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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