In the future we'll all be gay
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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