The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
