And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
