butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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