I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
