btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
