you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
A+ Viking dick
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I enjoy the company of your penis
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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