I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
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