I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
