someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize