i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You are the jesus of drinking
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
