Little spoons don't ask big questions
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
