"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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