There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
