Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
