I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
