i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
