Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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