we have pet lesbian snakes
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
She needs sedatives and a leash
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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