Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
