this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
