By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
