Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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