i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
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