I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
