If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
