Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
and i looked up. we had an audience...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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