If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
