Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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