Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
