I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
