just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
