i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
