Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
