ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
