It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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