Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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