I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
