Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
